Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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