Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Bob Saget

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken -A black guy being black

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one morning i turned on my tv

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

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What's worse than holocaust jokes? The Rwandam Genocide.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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