Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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Barack Obama.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Brain fart

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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