Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

thumb_up thumb_down +46

You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

all your base are belong to mark

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I went to school. Then I came home.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

thumb_up thumb_down +34

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops