How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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