What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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