Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what has genitial warts? me

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops