A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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why did the zebra cross the road?

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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