How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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ure mama's so fat

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World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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