What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops