A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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