Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i had a black friend once......just kidding

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

fish fishy caoimhin

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops