Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Please don't shoot me

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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