Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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