What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

It's okay, I got the yogurt.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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