neil likes pube toast

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

MAKE

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

I don't believe in giraffes.

Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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