So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops