- Anti Joke

Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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