Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops