stephen hawking walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops