The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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i hate non minorities!

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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