Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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