SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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women's rights

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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