What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

what do you call a gay guy? kevin

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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