Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops