Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

FIONN'S LIFE

can you pass the soap?

What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

why is cancer a big thing because its bad

Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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