Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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-Knock-knock. -Who's there? -Interrupting Doctor. -Interrup.. -You have cancer.

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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I'm HIV positive.

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

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don't just stand there

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops