A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops