Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

Who invented apple? God

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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