A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Asian women drivers...

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops