A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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kathryn atkins

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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