How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

thumb_up thumb_down -25

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

My name is me I like fired chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops