What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Pianos.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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knock knock go away

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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