What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

^ That's not even funny ^

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ol-ive

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops