Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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