Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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Golf.

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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