Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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kennah campion when she talks

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Neither did she.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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