What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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