why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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