why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Nickelback.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops