What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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Japan

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Women's rights.

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Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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