How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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alert("Hello");

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Why did the man die? He was old.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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