- Anti Joke

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

gingers

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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