How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

thumb_up thumb_down

If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

thumb_up thumb_down

You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

thumb_up thumb_down

727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

thumb_up thumb_down

Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down

Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down

A drunk guy walks into a car

thumb_up thumb_down

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

thumb_up thumb_down

hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

thumb_up thumb_down

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops