What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

Read a Book.

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

stinky boner

Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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