How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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