Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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