So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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