What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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