Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

thumb_up thumb_down +4

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops